I offer you all my love
And endless gratitude
I swear on the stars that fall from your eyes
I’ll be with you forever ~(From Now On Lyrics)
You must be wondering (or not?) why I hadn’t post anything when he died in December 2017. It’s not because I didn’t like them anymore, but I’d have rather chose silent in that situation.
I still remember that day, December 18th, 2018, It was raining when I went back to my boarding house. I was in my exam period and I had to face 2 exams on the next day. I opened my laptop to prepare for my exam, and saw a news about him.
what? he? suicide? he? he?
My brain couldn’t accept that news. I scrolled down the website, and checked my twitter timeline. of course, the timeline was also a mess, because my mutuals are dominant with Shawols. I couldn’t concentrated on my study. I just left my e-book opened in the taskbar and checked the twitter timeline diligently. I couldn’t breathe properly, my heart beat very fast. But, I couldn’t cry. I was hoping that he survived.
In short, the news were still ambiguous until SM confirmed at 10 pm that: he died.
I’m broken.
I didn’t study at ALL that night, but my eyes were so puffy because I couldn’t sleep. How can I concentrated in study and SLEEP in THAT situation?
Until 2 days after his died, still, I couldn’t cry, because, I don’t know. I think i was just really really broken, I was sad, I was angry, I couldn’t laugh over jokes, any jokes. I didn’t make any conversation with my friends, I came when the exam were started, and went back to boarding when it finished.
My only friend were my laptop and SHINee’s songs. I played SHINee’s songs all day, and didn’t skip any songs, like I’m used to do.
I thought I was strong, because I didn’t cry when the news was out, or when the funeral was held. But on December 21st, 2017, I cried.
I cried so hard when the other 4 of SHINee’s member were shown.
Okay, let’s stop it. I think I will cry if I tell you more about that day 😥
If I hadn’t met you yet
What would I have been doing now?
Not even knowing the meaning of love
Where would I have strayed?
December. It will be the fenomenal month for us Shawol. We will celebrate Jinki & Minho’s birthday, but also will remember Jonghyun’s dead on that month.. Shawol are the strongest fandom right?
February 2018, the month when the rest of SHINee’s members decided to hold their concert in Japan. I still remember when people were so salty about their decision.
They gain benefit from Jonghyun’s dead ; Their tears were fake. (some of people saying something about SHINee’s concert announcement)
Like, HEY. Just LIVE you LIFE. Did you think they have to isolate themself from people forever? They have to live their life.
my strong oppas
They are sure really strong. They have to do rehearsal with his voice, but without him. They have to rearrange their dance formation, They have to replace his voice… i’m sure they haven’t recovered yet.
No words to describe
My surging emotions
But you, we understand each other
Always have, always will
Now, I happy with my life, with SHINee’s comeback, with SHINee’s activities, with SHINee’s members’ positivity. It’s so nice to see them singing and dancing on the stage. Their new album are also lit!!!!! Fiyaaahhhhh!!! (josh said that)
That’s All. Hehe.
lyric source : colorcoded
Let’s support SHINee’s comeback !!
PEARL&PEACH 